I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of days about the formalizing of the punishments, with a view to assisting J and getting her started on a formal list to make it a little easier on her. Indeed, I actually did that today, and made some suggestions; however, it dawned on me, after reading some posts on Cathy and Scally's blog (http://the-good-dd-life.blogspot.com/), that maybe that wasn't a good thing to do.
To some extent it feels like I'm directing the punishments to suit me, and to some degree that would be hard to deny. I probably shouldn't have given count suggestions at all, because it's not really my place to be deciding any of that stuff, or placing those thoughts into J's head. In fact, I should be spanked whenever J decides I need to be spanked, and for however long J decides I need to be spanked for. There shouldn't be any hard and fast rules saying that I get 25 for this, or 30 for that, but more she should spank me until she feels that she has been heard. If that takes 1 minute, 20 strokes, 5 minutes, or even multiple sets with timeouts in-between then that's her call to make. Granted, having a more formal structure in place makes it a lot easier for her, but it should be her choice to decide if that's what she wants - not mine.
On the other side is the fact that we are new to this whole DD dynamic, for the most part. J also has other things on her mind than just worrying about sitting down and formalizing some of this stuff - even though she said she would. To that end my intention was to try and ease her burden as she adjusts to the DD dynamic (which she is doing wonderfully I may add), but I'm starting to question if that was such a good idea.
This also made me think about maintenance spankings, such that they should really be done whenever J feels the need for me to be reminded to behave. There shouldn't be a any formal schedule, but more that if J thinks it's been a while since I was last spanked, and I'm getting a little cocky or pushing boundaries, then one is probably in order. Again, the severity and length being her choice not one that I suggest.
Anyway, wasn't planning on posting again today, but that stuff just came up so I thought I would throw it out there. I'm not saying she shouldn't or can't formalize things, but I think all of the decisions related to that should really be hers. I will leave it there for now!