Well today provided me with additional proof, not that I really needed it, that I work best when I'm under pressure. Having slacked off for most of the week, I knuckled down today and actually met my agreed upon deadline for words on a page by the end of the week. Granted it took me pretty much all of the day to get the chapter complete, but it's far better than looking at a blank page when 5pm rolls by. That really just leaves the issue of the yard work, which I know really needs doing, but in all honesty I have zero motivation to do; however, if by some miracle I complete that, or make some headway on it then that will mean that I managed, by the skin of my teeth, to finish my assigned chores and tasks for the week. Which in theory clears me from receiving a maintenance spanking, or does it?
The problem is that I know, and I suspect J does too, that in terms of meeting my agreed upon productive count isn't really the issue. The real issue surrounding that task is the perpetual time wasting, which could be used a lot more effectively. Frittering away time early in the week, only to push out the word count at the last moment, actually tells me two things. First, I'm still wasting way too much time. Second, and I'm very wary of saying this, but it's possible that I've set the bar too low, and it needs to be raised. It's a double edged sword, because on one hand I seem to work very well under pressure (in this case the threat of a severe spanking from J), but on the other hand if I have a genuine block, then no matter how hard I try it may not be possible for me to meet my target even if I wanted to. So what's the answer?
As I've already stated, the key issue that's really under discussion here is time wasting, and I will admit to being guilty of that offense on more than a couple of occasions this week. So I'm pretty sure a spanking is coming my way tomorrow, regardless of the yard work being competed or not, and as much as it pains me to say it, I probably deserve one. Next to failing to exercise and eating right, wasting time is probably the next offense in line in terms of seriousness. Part of me wants J to go easier on me for completing the other tasks, but honestly I don't think that sets a very good precedence. Having said that, that's really up to J, and how serious she views the problem. I also know that my maintenance / preemptive beach spanking is due on Thursday (one that I'm sure J will want to make a serious impression with) so that makes me a little nervous, but if I end up with a severe spanking tomorrow then I really only have myself to blame. Nobody forced me to waste all of that time!
Behavior wise, I think I've done better than I had expected that I would this week, not that such a statement is one that I'm really proud of, because it shouldn't be an issue in the first place. J did say she got irritated with me the other night, for reasons that I won't go into here, but I think she was irritated enough to probably warrant some form of immediate correction. What surprised me though was that she didn't tell me to get the hairbrush, so the incident went unpunished. Granted it was late at night, but she should have probably sent me to fetch her hairbrush as a quick reminder - even if it was for a few quick strokes. Anyway, The reason for mentioning that is to really just to reiterate to J that I've given her an effective tool for dealing with irritating behavior, but If she chooses not to use it then there's not much I can do. I also just wanted to take the opportunity to tell J that I love her so much, trust her judgment implicitly (even when I might not like it), and consent one hundred percent to any corporal punishment - severe or otherwise - that she feels is appropriate at any time.
In terms of a weekly confession, and in the interest of complete honesty:
- I did waste some time this week watching porn, something I need to stop doing.
- My bad language, while better, still saw a couple of slip ups.
- I also caught myself picking at my feet yesterday, more so out of habit, but I didn't catch myself in time.