I couldn't help but chuckle to myself this afternoon, because deep down I've wanted some form of DD lifestyle with J for a very long time. So here I am, J finally appears to be onboard - she's already set a maintenance/preemptive spanking for next Friday, so what's so funny and ironic? Well, the irony is that after wanting J to spanking me and take me in hand for so long, I now find myself scrambling to get all of my chores, and agreed upon tasks, done so as to NOT get a spanking. I think her maintenance spanking the other night really made more of an impression than I was expecting, and I guess that's a testament to J. Granted, she still could use a little more practice, but I don't think it will be long before she has the implements at her disposal mastered - and I'm sure those practice opportunities will present themselves at a fairly regular interval.
I'm definitely intrigued to see where this takes us, both individually and as a couple. I know some of my behaviors in the past, which pushed all her buttons, have left her feeling very frustrated and angry. What makes those situations worse is that I go on the mental defensive, and convince myself that she's just being too sensitive, or has no sense of humor. At that point I invariably withdraw, and she's left to deal with my silent treatment. So, to some degree, not only is she the victim, but she is also the one that get's placed into a situation where she is also mentally punished for my bad behavior - talk about adding insult to injury! Even I can see that that's not fair, and quite honestly I'm surprised that she hasn't slugged me or stabbed me in the past; however, something tells me that that's just not going to fly anymore. If I upset, disrespect, or push her buttons in the future, she now has a very powerful set of tools at her disposal that she hasn't previously had access to before. Ones that will, without a shadow of a doubt, grab my attention and not allow me to get away with any bad behavior with such flippant disregard for J's feelings. Quite frankly, I would imagine that's going to be a very potent, and somewhat empowering, feeling for her when the time comes. I also think that such recourse on her part will easily break through my mental defenses, and really register that it was me that was most definitely in the wrong; consequently, an apology can be issued and we can get on with our lives, instead of playing childish games that can last days, which invariably make us both equally miserable.