Potty Mouth

There are certain things that J doesn’t like me to say, which in her book crosses the line where foul or offensive language is concerned. A line that my little toe crossed over yesterday, and was caught by J. The penalty for that little slip was a quick hand slap to my rear, and provoked an interesting response. Before my brain could get my mouth in check I blurted out something like ‘oooh that was effective’, at which point my brain caught up with my mouth and began to backpedal at full speed. Given the look on J’s face at that point I wasn’t sure if I would get away with it or not, but luckily for me she was in the middle of cooking, so I managed to dodge that bullet.

Now, I’m not expecting anybody other than J to read this, but just in case I will mention this: please keep in mind that we’ve only just started working on this whole DD dynamic. As such, J really is doing an awesome job, but for her there is a bit of a learning curve in terms of sometimes being possibly overly lenient – this is a direct result of her not having a naturally dominant personality, but she is definitely learning!

So, given that I got away with it, and wasn’t really spanked for it, then why even bring this up? The answer to that is really connected to the statement that I made above. The only way that J is going to become more proficient within her disciplinarian role is if I give her constructive feedback, and as much as pain as it will cause my butt, I still really want her to grow as my disciplinarian wife. One could argue that it would be in my butts best interest to really just keep my mouth shut, and be grateful for getting off so lightly again. A small part of me would actually agree, and is currently in the back of my brain doing a small victory dance and having a party to celebrate; however, the more honest side of me knows that J’s leniency doesn’t help me grow as a person – which for me, is pretty much the underlying motive for wanting our marriage to progress into one that incorporates DD. I don’t like punishment spankings at all, because they really do hurt, and I want nothing more than to escape or get out of it once J starts spanking me; however, I think we’ve both seen the benefits that such a dynamic is bringing to our marriage, and I personally want that to continue – as I’m sure J does as well. As J progresses down this path, and becomes even more proficient with the implements, learns not to hold back as much, and is able to better gauge an appropriate severity, then I know that my butt is going to be in for a whole world of hurt. Strange as it may seem, that for me is a good thing, because I know that it will at that point really drive home the motivation to behave and potentially change for the better. It will certainly make me a far better husband to J, and I really think she deserves that.

The interesting question that arises from that exchange is this: how should J deal with offensive language from this point out? The obvious answer would be to just say be more strict about it, to the point of a zero tolerance policy. While I think that is actually a good place to start, it still leaves open the question of how J should actually deal with it at a physical spanking level. Should I be spanked for using language that’s offensive to her? Absolutely, because if it’s offensive to her then it’s also disrespectful, because I’m not taking into consideration how that language makes her feel. Once more it seems to boil down to a judgment on severity, but is somewhat complicated by some other possible complications.

Using offensive language when just J and I are around has far fewer direct consequences than using the same language in the presence of impressionable children, or in public where other’s are also subjected to it. Also, a tirade of foul language is probably also a lot more offensive than an occasional slip, not that the slip should even be tolerated. Finally, there’s the issue of repeat offenses, where the same words keep slipping out time and time again, even when previous correctional punishment has been dealt out. In terms of the last point, one could argue that time also plays a factor, in as much as letting slip something today, and then again in six months, is far different from letting slip today, later today, tomorrow, and next week.

This still leaves the question of how J should deal with it. I really don’t like making punishment suggestions, because I feel that it’s for her to decide; however, given what occurred yesterday then maybe a suggestion is potentially in order.

I’m actually reminded of an old British comedy sketch starring the Two Ronnie’s, where they were in a pub and kept swearing, but were forced to deposit money into the swear box each time they swore. How does that relate? Well, as I mentioned above, the offensive language potentially ranges from a one off slip, to a situation that involves other considerations – such as doing so in front of a child, constant repetition, etc. A single slip probably doesn’t warrant a fully drawn out severe spanking, such as those given for motivational or other serious behavioral infractions. In that respect, J’s quick slap yesterday was actually fairly appropriate to some degree, and acknowledges that same train of thought. On saying that, the quick hand slap was also probably far too lenient, because it didn’t really reinforce any desire to not do it again – if I were to be honest. My suggestion would be to have a fixed number of swats/strokes of whatever implement J deemed appropriate, with adjusted numbers based on the situation.

My suggestion, and I ‘m going to leave the actual numbers to J assuming she wants to adopt this method, would be that if I use of an offensive word when we are alone it would result say ten immediate swats/strokes. However, doing the same in front of a child, or in public where it could be overheard, doubles that number – in that case it would be 20. Repeating the same word, or even using offensive language again within a set period (say a week, and again this is just a suggestion, and should really be determined by J) increases the number again, possibly double or by another ten or how ever many J feels is appropriate. The implication is that if I were to swear in front of my neighbors child, then J’s going to give me 20 swats/strokes with whatever she deems appropriate at her earliest convenience. If, for some stupid reason, I do that again the next day, then I’m then going to get another 20, plus whatever else she deems appropriate for repeating the offence – all of which could well be applied on top of any bruises that I may have accumulated from any other spankings that week.

Like I said, that’s just a suggestion for J to get her started thinking how best to discipline this behavior. What numbers she chooses to use, or even if she chooses to use that system at all if entirely up to her. From my viewpoint, that ‘swear box’ type system, where you pay for each offense, appeals because it provides a deterrent that increases the more you abuse the offensive language. Knowing that ten swats could suddenly escalate to 20+ with a repeat offense, depending on circumstance, for me is a pretty strong motivator to not want to swear – which again is the point!

Anyway, that post was way longer than I had intended, but I think it needs to be addressed.

Nervous Anticipation

So I know that I have a maintenance / warning spanking coming my way on Thursday, to ensure that I'm reminded of what waits for me when we get back from the beach if I decide to play up. Knowing that it's coming, at least for me, is far worse than having one hang over my head on a daily basis if I misbehave. It's actually very weird, because it seems to play havoc with my mind. I know it's going to be a punishment spanking, I know that it's really going to hurt, and whats worse is that after Saturdays spanking I don't think J will will be holding back as much. I just have this voice in the back of my mind saying that she is going to want to leave a memorable impression this time, if for no other reason than to make a point, but I could be wrong. Which is the problem, I have little voices in the back of my mind torturing me, so with every day that passes a feeling of nervous anticipation keeps on building. It certainly feels like a powerful psychological tool, and one that could be very well utilized on J's part if she saw it the same way. Having her come up behind me, giving me a quick swat with her hand, and then having her whispering to me that I was going to feel the painful intensity of whatever instrument she favored at her earliest convenience, before walking away like nothing had just happened could be a somewhat torturous experience.

Making that anticipation worse, because I seem to be a glutton for punishment, I've made J aware of my curiosity with the belt. To the extent that I hung one up in her closet along side the cane - I really can be an idiot sometimes. My brain finally caught up with my impusive mistake this morning, so I gave my hand a quick swat with it, and I'm starting to think that I've made a big mistake, because that thing freakin hurts! Like no kidding Sherlock, what was you expecting? Anyway, given that I acted before thinking it through, and given that she's probably already seen the belt hanging, it's probably too late to retract that as a tool in her slowly growing arsenal of weaponry to keep me in line. I don't dare take it down in case she thinks I purposely hid it, but I also don't know for sure if she has seen it - I'm in mental anguish here! There again, J's a big softy, so she might allow me to take it back down - yeah I know, wishful thinking. The only thing that I probably have going for me, where the belt is concerned, is that she hasn't used one before, so her unpracticed technique might initially give me some reprieve.

I think this morning was about as close as I've come to getting an on the spot behavior spanking, because I realized, after the fact, that I was probably bordering on the edge of disrespect. Making J set the alarm for 8am, then pretty much ignoring it, and waiting for her to get up was probably a little disrespectful. Luckily, J still seems to be in her happy lenient frame of mind, so I got away with that one. I wouldn't say that it's confusing, but the boundary line is still a tad blurry in terms of knowing what I can and cannot get away with. I'm wary of testing the boundaries, because I know my butt would seriously pay for it. So far I've been lucky enough to have not yet to crossed over the behavior line, forcing her to send a behavior spanking my way. To some extent, that is having a similar effect on me in regards to anticipation, because I don't really know what to expect from one of those types of spankings. On saying that, it probably isn't something I want to find out, and will to some degree depend on how pissed off she is with whatever I do. What's worse, is that she's starting to get clued in on severity, as well as technique.

Red Light, or Green Light?

Wasn't really planning on writing an entry today, because nothing has really happened since last night - well nothing of any real significance anyway; however, J did ask me to bend over so she could inspect her handywork from last night, and then made an interesting comment. I can't remember the exact wording, but it went along the lines of: I guess I shouldn't judge the severity of the spanking based on your reaction / cries of pain. Based on what I could see I saw some superficial bruising, but I wouldn't call it major, and to be honest I felt last weeks maintenance caning a lot more in the days following in comparrison.

This raises an interesting point about judging the severity, and judging the length of the spanking. An area that I think J is trying to get to grips with at the moment. Now, given that we're talking about DD punishment spankings here, and not the more pleasant erotic ones, the whole idea surrounding the spanking is to make sure that it entices the receiver to correct some form of unwanted behavior / bad habit; therefore, at least in my opinion, you want a spanking thats severe enough to reinforce that correction for at least a couple of days after. In my case, and this may not be the same for others, but there probably needs to be some bruising, and/or a spanking of sufficient duration to act as a sufficient deterrent - one that I would not want repeated anytime soon. Granted a longer duration spanking and bruises are most likely to go together hand in hand, but as we saw from the caning last week long duration isn't always a requirement. To some extent the logical conclusion here is that the implement determines the level of bruising, but I'm not convinced that that's necessarily true. I'm sure if J had increased the force of delivery with that paddle my butt would probably be black and blue, so in part I think it also comes down to technique and the method of delivery. On saying that, to some extent you also have to take into account accuracy verses force, because the harder and faster the swats are delivered the less accurate they could be. So maybe there's a happy balance, or just an issue of practice at play here. To that end, maybe such spankings warrant the use of multiple instruments of fiery butt destruction to get the desired effect, because each brings different qualities to the table.

All of what I just said above is probably the case for behavior and motivational spankings, but I'm not really sure when it comes to a warning/maintenance spanking. Yes, the maintenance spanking needs to be of sufficient severity to deter non-compliance, but if it were the same severity as the behavior / motivational spankings could their effectiveness be diminished? Not sure I know the answer to that one myself at the moment, and it's one that I will give some more thought to.

In terms of spanking duration, then I think the last thing J needs to be gauging that on is my cries of pain / complaint. What I love so much about J is that she's one of the most caring and compassionate people that I've ever know, but to some degree that is causing her to possibly be a little too lenient. Her natural ability to empathize with me is, by the seems of things, causing her to misjudge when the spanking is sufficient in severity. Again, I think this is just a case of inexperience, and will rectify itself pretty quickly. To that end, I think it will just come down to J taking note of what implements leave what marks, how hard she needs to apply them, and what overall end results they generate.

Got Off Lightly This Time!

Well, as expected J decided that a small motivation spanking was in order, and I think I actually got off quite lightly under the circumstances - more so because I had anticipated it being more severe, not that I'm going to complain, especially with a maintenance spanking coming up on Thursday.

To J's credit,  her positioning of me, and her paddle technique is definitely improving; however, had I been in her shoes, given the amount of time wasted this week, the choice of not doing the yard work, as well as the confessed behavior issues this week, then I would have made sure that my bare butt got roasted with not only the paddle, but also the cane; furthermore, I would have left no doubt that my butt would be well and truly bruised tomorrow.

I'm still proud of her though, she took up the initiative to spank me when she could have just fobbed it off and gone to bed, because I know she's tired. It's hard to tell, but I think she's beginning to see the benefits of this DD relationship structure outweighing the disadvantages. At least I hope that's the case, and I realize that it's early days. She's doing a grand job of sliding into her role as my disciplinarian, and I'm sure she's feeling me out on this new road that we've begun to head down.

I did have thoughts about burning that paddle though, that thing is plain out mean. I think I can honestly say that I think I prefer the cane over the paddle, in fact I think I would prefer anything over that paddle - the irony being that I made it, so that stupid ass mistake came back to bite me in the ass! I know that we used to have a strap, but I don't have any real recollection of that experience. I did test out J's wooden hairbrush with an experimental whack on my ass, and I have a horrible suspicion that it could very well be worse than the paddle, because the head of the brush is a bit smaller, and would probably result in faster and more accurate swats that are more concentrated on impact. I've never been spanked with a belt, but from what I can gather that's also meant to be fairly intense, and for some stupid reason I seem to remain curious about that one.

I will admit that part of me wants to increase J's toy box, because I actually enjoy making implements of butt destruction, and I seem to have a knack for creating very nice paddles. I've always loved to sexiness of floggers, but I've never really done any crafting along that line - especially where leather is concerned, but that is definitely an implement that I would really like to try making at some point.

A Question Of Principle And Honesty!

Well today provided me with additional proof, not that I really needed it, that I work best when I'm under pressure. Having slacked off for most of the week, I knuckled down today and actually met my agreed upon deadline for words on a page by the end of the week. Granted it took me pretty much all of the day to get the chapter complete, but it's far better than looking at a blank page when 5pm rolls by. That really just leaves the issue of the yard work, which I know really needs doing, but in all honesty I have zero motivation to do; however, if by some miracle I complete that, or make some headway on it then that will mean that I managed, by the skin of my teeth, to finish my assigned chores and tasks for the week. Which in theory clears me from receiving a maintenance spanking, or does it?

The problem is that I know, and I suspect J does too, that in terms of meeting  my agreed upon productive count isn't really the issue. The real issue surrounding that task is the perpetual time wasting, which could be used a lot more effectively. Frittering away time early in the week, only to push out the word count at the last moment,  actually tells me two things. First, I'm still wasting way too much time. Second, and I'm very wary of saying this, but it's possible that I've set the bar too low, and it needs to be raised. It's a double edged sword, because on one hand I seem to work very well under pressure (in this case the threat of a severe spanking from J), but on the other hand if I have a genuine block, then no matter how hard I try it may not be possible for me to meet my target even if I wanted to. So what's the answer?

As I've already stated, the key issue that's really under discussion here is time wasting, and I will admit to being guilty of that offense on more than a couple of occasions this week. So I'm pretty sure a spanking is coming my way tomorrow, regardless of the yard work being competed or not, and as much as it pains me to say it, I probably deserve one. Next to failing to exercise and eating right, wasting time is probably the next offense in line in terms of seriousness. Part of me wants J to go easier on me for completing the other tasks, but honestly I don't think that sets a very good precedence. Having said that, that's really up to J, and how serious she views the problem. I also know that my maintenance / preemptive beach spanking is due on Thursday (one that I'm sure J will want to make a serious impression with) so that makes me a little nervous, but if I end up with a severe spanking tomorrow then I really only have myself to blame. Nobody forced me to waste all of that time!

Behavior wise, I think I've done better than I had expected that I would this week, not that such a statement is one that I'm really proud of, because it shouldn't be an issue in the first place. J did say she got irritated with me the other night, for reasons that I won't go into here, but I think she was irritated enough to probably warrant some form of immediate correction. What surprised me though  was that she didn't tell me to get the hairbrush, so the incident went unpunished. Granted it was late at night, but she should have probably sent me to fetch her hairbrush as a quick reminder - even if it was for a few quick strokes. Anyway, The reason for mentioning that is to really just to reiterate to J that I've given her an effective tool for dealing with irritating behavior, but If she chooses not to use it then there's not much I can do. I also just wanted to take the opportunity to tell J that I love her so much, trust her judgment implicitly (even when I might not like it), and consent one hundred percent to any corporal punishment  - severe or otherwise - that she feels is appropriate at any time.

In terms of a weekly confession, and in the interest of complete honesty:

• I did waste some time this week watching porn, something I need to stop doing.
• My bad language, while better, still saw a couple of slip ups.
• I also caught myself picking at my feet yesterday, more so out of habit, but I didn't catch myself in time.

The Bells Are Ringing!

Must admit, I'm starting to get a little bit worried that my hiney is heading for a pretty severe motivation spanking this week, because not only am I struggling to get words on paper, but I'm having a hard time getting motivated to deal with the weeds in the yard. So in that respect the alarm bells are ringing! On the plus side, I've been exercising, eating healthier, and got the additional tasks J set done. However, when J and I discussed motivation yesterday, she asked me if I thought that she needed to be tougher and stricter on me, and being the idiot that I am I said she probably does - arghhh me and my big mouth. Furthermore, at the time of that conversation I was feeling pretty confident that I could scamble and get myself back on track where the writing was concerned, but now I'm not so sure. Over confidence will bite you in the ass everytime - literally!

What gets me the most though is that I really love writing, and I want to write, but I'm really struggling to get a more detailed plot down on paper. In short, my story seems to be stalling, and I'm not sure how to get it going again. Maybe this is the writers block that I keep hearing authors talking about. That in itself isn't so bad, but the real problem is that as I blank out I get distracted, and the next thing I know I've wasted an hour or two surfing the web. I think J would be understanding of the block, but it's the time wasting that follows which is the issue here.

Anyway, Part of me is really tempted to start over, dump the couple of starting chapters that I wrote a while back, and start clean. The problem with that is that I like the first chapter, and I can visualize the end, but it's the really big bit in the middle that's the problem! Hang on a second, something just struck me - maybe, while I like the starting chapter, I don't like the direction that it takes the story, and the main character. Woohoo, minor breakthrough there, because I hadn't really thought about that until just now!

I guess if writing was that easy more people would do it; however, I know deep down that I can write, I have a pretty good grasp of story structure, and I know I'm capable of writing this damn novel. So what's going on? Is it work ethic or poor self discipline that's enticing me to distraction when I hit a block? Not completely sure, but I would lay down money against it being connected to bad habits more than anything else. I'm so used to wasting time, especially when I know I should be doing other stuff, that it's just second nature when things get tough or I hit a road block. It's not until I find my back against the wall that I end up getting motivated to get done what needs doing! There again, that's probably the point of the motivational spankings - to provide a painful consequence so that I'll be more motivated to push past the blocks, and not be tempted to fall back into bad habits where I make the choice to waste time.

On a positive note, luckily my behavior seems to have been fine, because she hasn't called me out on any rude or disrespectful behavior. There's been no instances of lying that I'm aware of, and I've only caught myself swearing a couple of times, but I think they slipped past J - either that or she has gotten so used to hearing it that it didn't register. I just need to try harder in that area, and for the most part I've been good. The point being that I was convinced my butt would be black and blue by now due to bad / disrespectful behavior, and I can only conclude that the threat of a spanking hanging over me is having some good positive affect.

A Question Of Severity

I had the intention, with an hour to go before supper time, of looking at my novel and trying to bash out some words, but a question suddenly struck me – so, being the idiot I am, I decided to write this blog post instead. 

Not that I have any real say in the matter, but I was just wondering how J will determine the severity/duration of the motivation spankings. I mean there are a number of tasks/chores on my list to be completed each week, and I think some are more important that others. Granted, they are all important, but weeding the borders, or cutting the grass, is far less important than say for example eating healthy and exercising. Is the spanking going to be the same regardless of how many or how few things on the list I complete?

The reason that I’m asking is pretty simple, lets say for sake of argument that I can’t be bothered to cut the grass this week; therefore, I know and accept the fact that I will be getting a motivational spanking. What then stops me from saying, ok, I know I’m getting a spanking, so where’s my motivation to complete any of the other tasks on the list for that week. We haven't gotten to that stage yet, and its something that we haven't really talked about, but it strikes me that it might be a good idea to get this point cleared up. That way we both know where we stand on this issue.

Obviously, this is really going to be up to J, but the only thing that immediately comes to mind where this question is concerned is to give each task specific weighting. For example, not exercising incurs X number of strokes, or X number of seconds to the timer with a specific instrument of doom. If the same task isn’t completed the following week then the weighting could double, that way it removes the temptation to ignore the lesser weighted tasks on the list. Don’t know, just a suggestion to get J thinking.

Not sure what would be more effective, using a set number of strokes, or a set amount of time – guess that’s not really my problem!