You never miss something until it’s gone!

Given that my last post was back in November of last year, and my oh my how time has flown, it seems fairly obvious that the DD side of our relationship has subsided. Honestly, I still don’t really know how or why it fizzled by the wayside like it did, and to some degree there is a part of me that still mourns the loss of it from our relationship. Having said that, there is also a part of me that is relieved as well, especially since J had become very adept at wielding her implements to very good effect.

Even though DD seems to have drifted by the wayside the thought of DD never seems to be far from my mind, and I don’t think that will ever change. The biggest irony there being that when DD was in effect I went out of my way to please her, and did my best to avoid receiving a punishment spanking at all costs. Now that the DD is no longer enforced I find that there are just some days when I seem to crave a dose of J’s disciplinary handiwork upon my rear end, and I long to wear her ‘marks’ once more. Given the choice, or even no choice (assuming J just told me it was going to happen), I would embrace DD back into our relationship with little to no hesitation. Having said that I think my stomach would churn and tie itself into small knots knowing that painful spankings were once again a real threat, and also at that point completely of my control regardless of whether I wanted one or not. It seems to be a very cruel irony, when a spanking was readily available I didn’t want one, but when taken away I seem to crave it!

The feeling of loss goes deeper than just the physical punishments, because I still feel that it ‘encouraged’ me to be a better husband and person. I will freely admit that I have lazy tendencies, and without accountability to somebody I let things slide. DD provided that sense of accountability for me, and I do miss that.

I’m not really sure what the future holds for us in terms of DD, if anything at all. J will occasionally threaten to get the paddle out if I irritate her too much, but nothing has happened since November – in short, I don’t think I will be holding my breath :)

I also miss blogging about DD, especially as it relates to me personally and within our relationship. If anything does change then I will start posting again on a regular basis.