Spent a wonderful morning with my wife, we went swimming, shopped a little, and had lunch. Granted, it wasn’t the most spectacular morning, but it was time we spent together, and I’m a lot more appreciative of that these days – for multiple reasons, not just the new DD dynamic.
I was a bit worried when I got home, because I got a ‘look,’ not ‘the look’, but a look non-the-less, because I made a comment that was bordering on disrespectful. I half expected to be sent to our bedroom for a quick reminder, but so far I appear to be in the clear. I swear, not knowing is far worse than knowing, because it really messes with your head.
Now that I’m no longer providing suggestions and help to J, and having officially handed her complete control of all DD matters (as it should be), I get nervous when she gives me any kind of look. Just because she hasn’t spanked me yet, doesn’t mean she won’t spank me, and I don’t know if she’s trying to make me sweat, or deemed that comment to be bordering on the edge and just gave me a warning look – which I think it was, but only time will tell I guess. On that note, mini-celebration, I managed to make it through a whole week without a punishment spanking.
Both J and I have noticed an overall change in my general behavior, which is a good thing. So something’s working here. Yes, I’m going to slip up, but I’m nowhere close to being what I was like last month. J also introduced erotic spanking into our sex lives last week, and that was just amazing. If nothing else, it reaffirmed the very stark differences between a punishment and erotic spanking, and I would much rather prefer that nice, intimate, erotic kind any day. No wonder my behavior is changing! I swear, if more women took up a hairbrush and let their husbands have it, the divorce rate would plummet!
There is ROOM for Good Boy spankings: those could be used as positive motivators, as well as bad boy spankings as a negative motivator. You need some CLEARLY-set rules of disrespect so that you KNOW when you are about to "cross the line." Also has your wife lost her sense of humor--in that you can't "tease" her a little bit without incurring her wrath??
ReplyDeleteAs I have said before, "walking on eggshells" is a very unhealthy way to live, don't you think?? Lay out the ground rules together, then LIVE without WORRYING about whether you've crossed any lines!! Both of you need to COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE!!!!!!!!!
Bob (your self-proclaimed advisor--lol!!)
Bob, after reading your posts to us I get the feeling you have been in a very unhealthy relationship. it is unfortunate if that is the case. There are abusers in every walk of life but I think putting an implement of punishment in their hands is like throwing gasoline on a fire. However, my relationship with my husband is far from abusive. if anything I was the one being abused (not physically but verbally and mentally)! DD has given our relationship a way to counter the behavior that was coming my way. Hubby now has a reason to think twice before being a asshat which was something that was an ongoing thing. I hope you have resolved whatever it is in your life that cause you to react so strongly to discipline given in anger. That is not my style and I doubt it ever will be.
ReplyDeleteTo add to what J said, while I appreciate your comments, please realize that you have a very small window into our lives that I present here. J has a sense of humor, but my mark was bordering on pushing one of her buttons that I used to abuse.
ReplyDeleteI know what behaviors and actions have a zero tolerance policy. Today's remark could well have resulted in a reminder spanking, a) because I was starting to get a little flippant, b) because I haven't been spanked in a week, and c) because we're still establishing a foundation of ground rules and J may have wanted to be more strict than usual to make a point.
I knew when I got the look, and her tone of voice, that I was treading on dangerous ground. I actually think she played it very well, because it snapped me back in line, and started to make me sweat a little because I didn't know if that sharp reminder was heading my way.
So, again, thank you for the comments, but I assure you that our communication couldn't be better right now. Whether you want to believe that or not matters not, but I appreciate your concerns.
Sorry, guys, I guess that I REALLY fear the issue of abuse. That's why I incorrectly react so!!
ReplyDeleteI believe that you have a good relationship. I just need to relax and enjoy your blogpost, which I do!!
Thanks for being patient with me!! You could have told me where to go!! LOL!!
My apology,
Bob.
You're fine Bob, no real need for an apology, and I'd never to you to go anywhere, because that would be plain rude - and J doesn't like it when I'm rude :) I know what the consequence of that would be!
ReplyDeleteAlso, as I said, it's very hard to convey the real day to day state of our marriage when one has such a small window - meaning this blog - in which to do so. J and I have never been happier, and what we're doing right now seems to be working very well for us. I don't know if it would work for anybody else, but that's not really the point.
I read a post someplace else, I forget which blog now, where they described their relationship as being 51%/49%. That's pretty much where we are. I don't really care if we fit into a specific box, like FLR, DD, D/S, etc. because again it really doesn't matter.
I wish I could convey with more precision how amazing J is as a person, she makes me want to be a better person when I'm around her. Any discipline that she administers is done with and out of pure genuine love. I know she would never abuse me in any way, because that's just not in her character - and trust me, I've tested that character to breaking point and beyond over the past 15 years. That's why I really trust and respect her 100%.
We welcome all comments here, but all I ask is that the people that read my blog respect that that the dynamic we have set up is working for us. It may not be to everybody's taste, or line up with how they do it, but it's doing what we need it to do - that being keeping me in line, making J's life less stressful and irritating, and giving her a voice that can be heard when she feels that I'm doing something that isn't in my best interest, or the interest of our family unit. It's proving to be very effective so far.
In short, J's happy, I'm happy, and I now have real consequences for my actions - consequences that I don't like!