OK, so, as I mentioned in my previous post, I thought it might be a good idea to help J start formalizing the punishments, and defining a more concrete list of behaviors and actions that require a no tolerance policy attached. Not only will that list establish what will no longer be tolerated by J, but it will also provide me a way of expressing to J what areas I really need help with in order to become a better person.
We’re still in our first month of DD, and as such things are bound to need tweaking and adjusting, and that will become J’s responsibility once we’ve established a core foundation. If she deems a punishment to be too lenient, then she can increase what’s currently defined on the list; furthermore, if she thinks that the offense is being repeated too often, then again, she can increase the punishment to offer more of a deterrent.
I will also quickly note at this point, that the list deals with actions and behaviors, and not the motivational aspect – such as not completing pre-defined chores. One may wonder when does something become a motivational issue, and when is one a behavioral issue? From my perspective, something that’s attached to a motivational spanking is something that had to be completed by a set deadline – for example, keeping the kitchen clean by the end of each day, or finishing a set chore by the end of the week. A behavioral issue is one that hangs over my head 24/7, and ideally should be taken care of with administered discipline at J’s earliest convenience. As such, motivational spankings are due at the end of each week, we’re currently using Saturday nights, but that might potentially migrate to Monday mornings for more convenience on J’s part. If I complete all of the assigned tasks on my list for that week, then I don’t receive a motivational spanking. Obviously, the more chores that are not completed, the greater the severity of the spanking; furthermore, if the same task is not completed the following week, that too will increase the severity to encourage me to take that task more seriously.
OK, so I can see that this post is starting to get a little long already, so lets cut to the chase. What might be easier is to group the actions and behaviors into groups, such as irritating, annoying, intolerable – or something like that. Then the group can serve as a guide for administering the punishment. Obviously, the final numbers and/or times are down to J to decide, but I would suggest something like:
- Irritating – 10 hard swats with the paddle
- Annoying – 15 swats with the paddle, 5 strokes of the cane.
- Intolerable – 20 swats with the paddle, 10 swats with the hairbrush, and 10 strokes of the cane.
For each offence that is repeated that week five additional swats/strokes will be added onto the punishment. For example, if the same offense was repeated for the third time that week, not only would I be a complete idiot, but I would then get the set amount of strokes/swats listed above, plus an additional fifteen on top for repeating it for the third time. Again, all of this is just a suggestion to get J started, and she may feel that what I have suggested is too lenient or too severe, in which case she will adjust accordingly.
Finally we get to the list, and I’ll only list behaviors and actions that I can think of, and it’s really down to J to determine if she deems each one to be irritating, annoying, or intolerable.
- Lying – includes emotional honesty
- Watching / masturbating to porn
- Making J feel stupid through condescending comments
- Embarrassing J in public
- Being obnoxious and rude
- Being inconsiderate or unreasonable
- Being selfish, and not thinking about others
- Hurting others, either emotionally or physically
- Causing J undue stress, for example, back seat driving
- Not keeping promises
- Setting a bad example when around others
- Doing things that J considers unethical or immoral
Those are the things that are off the top of my head. J might have some more, or more specific variations, and she also will need to determine the severity of each one. Not sure if she will use any of my suggestions in terms of what an applicable spanking would be for each offence, but this should get her started.
Dang that’s a long list of character flaws – I’m starting to realize that I need to do a lot of work on my character, otherwise it won’t be long before I can’t sit down anymore!
After reading your list I think we are on the same page as to what behaviours are in need of correcting. I would up the stroke numbers on the irritating/annoying/intolerable list though
ReplyDeleteI have been looking at some of the other DD sites and the reaction I am getting from TiH is pretty funny. 'No honey you don't need to be looking at those' LOL This is what you want sweetie so what's the problem if I want to get better at it ;D
On a side note after reading a couple of the blogs where the women are getting disciplined and what they did to receive it, I think its interesting that I immediately said well...that couple needs to reverse roles 'cause that boy needs an attitude adjustment! Interesting how quickly I find myself adapting to this role of disciplinarian!
She's definitely adapting, and it gives me goose bumps and chills all at the same time. I was also impressed that you called to up the severity on the categories, because that's not something you would have done a couple of weeks back. Very proud of you J, and my butt is quivering in fear!
ReplyDeleteOK, so she called me out on the number of strokes/swats for each category, and I will admit that my suggestins were a little wimpy. I was letting my butt think on my behalf, because if I screwed up either a couple of times a day, or day after day, I world be in for a nasty awakening. On saying that, I guess that would be the point. In that regard, We discussed it a little more, and double that number would probably be a better starting point. I'm sure that will be tweaked later. Now it's a case of her fitting the behaviors into groups, because she seems to like that idea.
ReplyDeleteI was hesitant to mention this, but complete honesty is what we agreed upon. For really serious offenses, or times where she is really angry, then a timed 3 to 5 minute session might be more in order. Or even longer, depending on how bad it was. I know she could inflict a lot more punishment in that time period than any of the numbers discussed so far, even if we doubled them!
ANGER should never be a part of any discipline. You had BETTER let her cool off so that the discipline can be conducted in a rational, calm, and loving manner so that YOU can LEARN something in the process, instead of merely reacting to the hot emotions and excruciating pain at the moment!! Also there will be less DANGER of experiencing long-lasting harm that could result in long-term nerve damage (think of the sciatic nerve) or tail-bone damage or breakage!! The both of you need to do this with her very much in control of herself, as well as you!! ANGER maximizes the possibility of you REALLY getting HURT!!!!!
ReplyDeleteBob.
These are very valid points Bob and I appreciate you pointing them out. I never want to inflict permanent harm. I would hope that my innate sense of fairness in concert with my highly empathetic nature would overrule any temptation to lash out in anger. Right now, having resisted any spanking related activities for so long, I am inclined to err on the lenient side.
ReplyDeleteanyway, you are entitled to your opinion :). what we are forging in our relationship seems to be working for us.