There is a question that keeps buzzing around my head, and like most pests of the buzzy type, it doesn’t seem to want to go away. The question is this: are maintenance spankings needed in DD style relationships?
Having browsed around a number of DD/FLR blogs it’s a subject that is often referred to, and in a lot of cases implemented as well; however, the question remains, is it necessary? If so, then why, and how often should they be administered?
I’m not entirely sure which side of the fence I sit on where this is concerned, and to some extent it really doesn’t matter, because in my case it’s for J to decide if she feels that they are necessary or not. Given that I’ve handed all DD related decisions completely over to her, then I’m in no position to say if she should or shouldn’t use them. So I won’t, and I think my bottom is going to be happier with that decision, at least for now!
I’m coming to the conclusion that the use of maintenance spankings is to some degree situational, because it really depends on a number of primary factors.
If the spankee is prone to acting out, and needs constant reminders to be brought back inline, then I could see the need for regular maintenance spankings; however, on saying that, I’m left wondering that if the spankee is acting out on a regular basis, then maybe the spankings being delivered as a deterrent aren’t severe enough, because they obviously aren’t working as intended – especially if this is done weekly (and I’m not pointing any fingers at anyone here)!
Another factor, and I’m hesitant to say this, because I feel that I’m starting to fall into this category, is if the spankee has gone without a disciplinary spanking for a long period of time. At that point then I could potentially see the benefit of a reminder, after all, they say a prevention is better than a cure – not that I’m advocating J needs to spank me (felt the need to say that just in case she thinks I’m asking for one, because I’m not!). If one does fall into that category, as I think I’m starting to, then obviously the primary deterrent is working. So, one is left with the most obvious question: how long is a long period of time? A week? Two Weeks? A Month? Three Months? That I’m honestly not sure of, but I think it would be longer than a week, and certainly less than three months! What I am fairly sure about, is that it is almost certainly something that needs to be decided based on the individuals involved.
Also, do the maintenance spankings even need to be regularly scheduled, or could they just be given on a basis of as and when the disciplinarian thinks one is needed. When you start moving away from regularly scheduled maintenance spankings, then behavior patterns and actions pretty much dictate when they will occur.
Assuming maintenance spankings were deemed appropriate and necessary, then I’m not really sure what I think about them being regularly scheduled, or being given on an as and when basis. The regularly scheduled ones leave one knowing where you stand, and when to expect one; however, the as and when style could have a greater psychological impact, because you never quite know when it’s coming. There are merits for both I guess, but the most common by far are regularly scheduled from what I can see.
J has yet to deploy a preventative maintenance strategy, and I ‘m not sure that she will – after all, as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it! She has given me two preemptive warning spankings in the past month, one prior to going to the beach as a reminder of what awaits should I act up while there (boy did I learn that lesson), and one to demonstrate how she would feel about being embarrassed in public, so it’s not like she doesn’t believe in preventative measures. To some degree, at this point I’m concerned about poking a hornets nest here, because the last thing I want to do is encourage a regular maintenance spanking regime – especially if she doesn’t feel that one is necessary.
The other scenario that I’ve seen, and by far probably the most common, is where the disciplinarian just feels that it’s necessary regardless. In such cases, those types of maintenance spanking are almost always administered weekly. Respecting Mistress, from http://respectingmistress.blogspot.com/, appears to be in such a category (at least from what I can tell), and man alive did he get a blistering this week! I don’t think J would ever get to that stage of delivering one weekly, but there again I didn’t think she would get into DD to the degree that she has.
I’m sure if J felt that I was starting to push too many boundaries, or became too cocky, then she would probably decide that one was necessary; however, it’s completely up to J to decide such things, so she will have to chime in with her own thoughts – that is, if she feels like it!
Once again, a wall of text – sorry guys and gals.