Monday, August 22, 2011

Maintenance: Is It Necessary?

MaintenanceThere is a question that keeps buzzing around my head, and like most pests of the buzzy type, it doesn’t seem to want to go away. The question is this: are maintenance spankings needed in DD style relationships?

Having browsed around a number of DD/FLR blogs it’s a subject that is often referred to, and in a lot of cases implemented as well; however, the question remains, is it necessary? If so, then why, and how often should they be administered?

I’m not entirely sure which side of the fence I sit on where this is concerned, and to some extent it really doesn’t matter, because in my case it’s for J to decide if she feels that they are necessary or not. Given that I’ve handed all DD related decisions completely over to her, then I’m in no position to say if she should or shouldn’t use them. So I won’t, and I think my bottom is going to be happier with that decision, at least for now!

I’m coming to the conclusion that the use of maintenance spankings is to some degree situational, because it really depends on a number of primary factors.

If the spankee is prone to acting out, and needs constant reminders to be brought back inline, then I could see the need for regular maintenance spankings; however, on saying that, I’m left wondering that if the spankee is acting out on a regular basis, then maybe the spankings being delivered as a deterrent aren’t severe enough, because they obviously aren’t working as intended – especially if this is done weekly (and I’m not pointing any fingers at anyone here)!

Another factor, and I’m hesitant to say this, because I feel that I’m starting to fall into this category, is if the spankee has gone without a disciplinary spanking for a long period of time. At that point then I could potentially see the benefit of a reminder, after all, they say a prevention is better than a cure – not that I’m advocating J needs to spank me (felt the need to say that just in case she thinks I’m asking for one, because I’m not!). If one does fall into that category, as I think I’m starting to, then obviously the primary deterrent is working. So, one is left with the most obvious question: how long is a long period of time? A week? Two Weeks? A Month? Three Months? That I’m honestly not sure of, but I think it would be longer than a week, and certainly less than three months! What I am fairly sure about, is that it is almost certainly something that needs to be decided based on the individuals involved.

Also, do the maintenance spankings even need to be regularly scheduled, or could they just be given on a basis of as and when the disciplinarian thinks one is needed. When you start moving away from regularly scheduled maintenance spankings, then behavior patterns and actions pretty much dictate when they will occur.

Assuming maintenance spankings were deemed appropriate and necessary, then I’m not really sure what I think about them being regularly scheduled, or being given on an as and when basis. The regularly scheduled ones leave one knowing where you stand, and when to expect one; however, the as and when style could have a greater psychological impact, because you never quite know when it’s coming. There are merits for both I guess, but the most common by far are regularly scheduled from what I can see.

J has yet to deploy a preventative maintenance strategy, and I ‘m not sure that she will – after all, as the saying goes, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it! She has given me two preemptive warning spankings in the past month, one prior to going to the beach as a reminder of what awaits should I act up while there (boy did I learn that lesson), and one to demonstrate how she would feel about being embarrassed in public, so it’s not like she doesn’t believe in preventative measures. To some degree, at this point I’m concerned about poking a hornets nest here, because the last thing I want to do is encourage a regular maintenance spanking regime – especially if she doesn’t feel that one is necessary.

The other scenario that I’ve seen, and by far probably the most common, is where the disciplinarian just feels that it’s necessary regardless. In such cases, those types of maintenance spanking are almost always administered weekly. Respecting Mistress, from http://respectingmistress.blogspot.com/, appears to be in such a category (at least from what I can tell), and man alive did he get a blistering this week! I don’t think J would ever get to that stage of delivering one weekly, but there again I didn’t think she would get into DD to the degree that she has.

I’m sure if J felt that I was starting to push too many boundaries, or became too cocky, then she would probably decide that one was necessary; however, it’s completely up to J to decide such things, so she will have to chime in with her own thoughts – that is, if she feels like it!

Once again, a wall of text – sorry guys and gals.

6 comments:

  1. I still haven't decided where I stand on the whole maintenance thing. There are valid points on both sides so its difficult for me to make a choice as to which way to go. I have been spoiled rotten lately and the objectionable behavior has been minimal so its is difficult for me to justify giving any kind of punishment. I am definitely of the mindset that you reward good behavior and in my mind having a blistered bottom is not a reward! But then again I am the one who doles it out...I know the whole experience means something very different to you than it does to me.

    Absolutely if you needed an attitude adjustment you would be getting one..I still haven't tried out that new implement you made me ;D I'm just waiting..and you know I can be very patient!

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  2. I'm all for rewards instead of punishments!! I thought what you did the other day with the erotic spanking was awesome, where you finished it with a couple of really hard swats, and told me that it was a reminder of what I would be getting if I started acting up.

    This is, to some degree, why I'm on the fence where maintenance is concerned. Not just because I don't want my butt blistered, but because I know your deterrent is working, and rewards are probably way more effective as prevention - especially if the reward is a nice good boy erotic kind of spanking. I would much rather be rewarded than punished, like duh, and it seems to be working for us right now.

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  3. What we have found:-

    Pros:
    -It can be useful as it keeps the buttocks tender and makes avoiding punishment spankings more desirable;
    -It can be bonding to get a real spanking when the wife is not cross about something;
    -It stops the man starting to feel a need to act up to get a spanking;
    -It can help stop the man getting used to no discipline which can mean that the wife has to almost start from scratch with reasserting her authority to spank;

    Cons:
    -It can put unwanted extra pressure on the wife;
    -It does not have the same affect/meaning and can feel ‘unreal’;
    -Having a fixed weekly time does not fit in with the flow of life;
    -It can undermine the purpose of domestic discipline (i.e. to improve a man) by instead making him into a general submissive to her authority (i.e. regressing him to a child);

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  4. Awesome reply Scally, thank you so much. I appreciate your words of wisdom, more so because your philosophies seem to line up with our own where DD is concerned.

    Your top three pro's I think are already covered for me, because I have zero desire to act out and provoke a punishment. That also fuels the desire to want to behave - and I think hitting two weeks with no punishment from J is a positive testimony to that observation.

    The cons are also pretty much what J and I discussed earlier, and as a result of this post J is more inclined to reward with erotic spankings (which contain a slight reminder to continue to behave) than a punishment spanking that she feels is undeserved.

    Anyway, it was a useful topic to address today for us, and again, thank you for your input.

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  5. Taken In Hand - I think there needs to be some sort of feedback mechanism that lets you know where your performance is satisfactory and where it is lacking. Newport uses corporal sessions to review what I have accomplished in the last few days, what I intend to do for the next few days and to assign additional chores she wants done. They are not punishment sessions but the severity can be adjusted to help her make her points clear.

    Newports.sub

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  6. Maintenance punishments work for us on different levels. Firstly because it gives us a schedule to work to. Mistress and I agreed some time ago that after some years of playing CP games we would instead use corporal punishment for my real faults. The problem is it is not always possible in our lifestyle to punish the faults as and when they occur and then we found that totting up the faults and then punishing didn't work either. After reading some comments on the net about maintenance punishments we opted to try that. We have a set day and time for this now and, it is reschduled if needed. After intially just going through the motions of a punishment session, Mistress now reviews my performance over the week and adds stokes to the prescribed 36 stokes caning, if neccessary.
    Secondly, there is no longer any discussion when or if we can make time. We both agreed to stick with this regime so now neither or us have to worry if the other does or doesn't want to go through with a session. It has to happen.
    Thirdly, it's stopped any idea in my head of trying to get a caning when I feel like it. It's going to happen every week anyway now - but worse still Mistress has upped her game to the point where what used to be an pleasurable erotic whacking to enjoy is now a pretty fierce punishment - which also serves well to remind me of my place and how I should be thinking of Mistress.

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